I love this song, especially the guitarplaying is mindblowing.

Today i went to Amsterdam to check out a band that goes by the name Nuff Said. I’m seldom overwhelmed by Dutch bands, but these guys surprised me. Good songs with some very catchy riffs. If i had to put a lable on it, it would be bubbly rock. It was a big bummer that they started at a ridicilous hour (11 pm) and i had to leave for the trainstation when the band was just starting to warm up.

Before that i enjoyed a very pleasant evening at Guys place, who introduced me to another friend of his. I’m terrible with names and although i think i remember hers, i’m not going to take a gamble. But what i know for certain is that she is very nice, articulate and totally into Frank Zappa. I could not have wished for better company.

It will be no surprise that at some point i had to mention Conny’s death. At this point all roads lead to Conny one way or another. I’m truelly amazed and grateful that this is never a bombshell that spoils the mood. That i can talk about this without being treated as someone who is suffering emotional leprosy. That what i am going trough is a human experience that others are interested in with the purest intentions.

Later on we cycled to the gig. I have never ride a bike through Amsterdam before and i really enjoyed it.
Amsterdam does not have the overwhelming beauty of Brussels or Paris, but it does have thousands of nooks and crannies where you can discover something unique. Amsterdam can be anything you want it to be. Whatever you are looking for, you will find it.

After the gig I enjoyed a twenty minute hike to the trainstation. It would have been a perfect evening
if it wasn’t for the following event. Right after the train left, the train hit something or to be precise, someone. I’m not sure if it was an accident or a suicide, but the event did make think on how much impact it has on so many different people. For what it’s worth, my thoughts are with all of them.

Carpe diem people! Carpe diem!

Har har har!

Newspaper De Volkskrant have asked the The guys of Boom Chicago to comment on the American presidential election. I leave it to you to decide if it is funny or not.

The idea itself is interesting. Maybe we Dutch should return the favour and start a Boem Amsterdam in Chicago. Wouldn’t it be great to make a show that would fill you in on all the details about the elections in the Netherlands? Who wouldn’t want to hear more about the clash between giants like Jan Peter Balkenende, Wouter Bos and Agnes Kant?

Hello? Anyone?

I was invited there by my friend Guy, who has a knack of making me do stuff that i would never have done by myself. And as always with Guy, i was treated on a experience wthat i would not have wanted to miss for anything in the world. People from different parts of the world, with different beliefs as well, gathered together in a friendly and peaceful manner. There was a sort of “international solidarity vibe” there that i haven’t felt since the late 80’s. And even spiritual toddlers like myself were inspired by the stories that people told on the stage. For their beliefs, the Chinese government imprisoned, humiliated and tortured them, but it did not break them. If your beliefs and religion gives you strength enough to mentally survive that kind brutality, it deserves a lot of respect.

This picture was taken right after i arrived. I’m not sure if the people on the stage were Tibettans or Birmese, but the ritual was definitely Buddhist. The guys wearing the orange shirts are chanting a prair, while the guy in the white shirt is sort of painting and meditating at the same time. I was so overwhelmed by the whole thing, that i forgot to keep my camera straight.
On the left, you can see a little bit of a blue flag. This is the flag of the Islamic Uyghur people.

After that we heared a speech by a Birmese monk, who spoke about the situation in his country and how the Chinese could help through diplomacy to make Birma a more democratic country where human rights mean something.

In a sense China has gotten themselves in the same position as the U.S. On one hand they are criticized for occupying other nations and ignoring human rights, on the other hand they are seen as the country who can change things for the better in the world. It makes sense though. China could enhance their influence immensly, if it would trust themselves enough to embrace and spread freedom and democracy. Just ask yourself why we call the 20th century the American century and you know that it makes sense.

Here we see a Tibettan nun who was imprisoned by the Chinese government for twelve years. One of her crimes was wishing the Dalai Lama a long and healthy life. She was sentenced to four years in prison first, and when she repeated her wishes, eight more years were added. Guy told me that she also was forced to clean up human feces with her bare hands.

What hit me was that she stated that she had forgiven the people who improsened her, because they did not know what the situation in Tibet is like. Forgiveness is not only very nice and politically correct, it is also very powerful. Being able to forgive, allowed her to cast off the burden that was put on her by the Chinese regime. She moves on with her head up high, while the Chinese government remains stuck in the trench that they dugg themselves. The thing i wish the most for China, is leadership by someone who has the same strength and wisdom as this amazing lady.

Another lady amazed me too. She was standing next to us with her very thirsty dog. I bought the dog a bottle of water and the lady thanked me by giving me a big kiss on the cheek. That felt so good! Since Conny’s passing on, i need all the love i can get. And for some reason, i am getting loads of it.

This picture was taken during the finale of the demonstration. The guys on stage are about to sing the Tibettan anthem. They had to rely on motivation instead of skill and it all ended in a rather punkish way, with mics falling on the floor, which made the boys sing even louder.

I almost forgot to mention that there were two excellent singers on stage that afternoon. One of them was an Uyghurian singer and she blew me away. Her singing was opera and blues at the same time and although i could not understand a word, her voice really struck a chord with me in a big way. Pity she did only one set.

When it all ended, Guy and i hiked through Amsterdam for a couple of hours, while talking how amazing everything is. This afternoon, Amsterdam, human beings, and most of all life itself. After that we went to a Vietnamese restaurant in the very heart of the red light district. It won’t surprise you that we encountered several gorgeous women who promised to rock our world for a very small fee. And no, we did not take the bait. In fact it made me a bit nervous, i find it hard to feel at ease with the concept “sex for hire”. But in some way even those encounters fitted perfectly in this wonderful day.

Humans are amazing. No matter what gloom and doom you throw at them, they will find ways to overcome it. And when you put your heart into it, anyone of us can unlock treasures that you could not buy with all the money in the world. The only thing you need is the courage to love and trust your fellow man.

Come on China! Go for the kind of gold that lasts!

Saturday i bought twenty sunflowers for Conny’s grave. I can tell you that it is pretty hard work to carry those on one arme while cycling. But it is really nice to be able to see where she is from a distance. But i i have to admit that Conny’s grave is a bit out of tune with her neighbours.

It gets worse when you are standing right next to it. I’m not sure if the gentleman who is responsible for keeping the cemetery tidy will be happy with how i am taking care of this grave. I would not blame people if they would think that Pippi Longstocking was buried here. That would be kind of cool too, since Conny loved the Pippi series as a kid.

This is a picture of the Amsterdam Gate. It is called the Amsterdam Gate because when you walk through it and keep walking for about fifteen miles, you will end up in Amsterdam. Makes sense, does it not?

I had to be here for a little bit of social counseling that took place in a building right next to the gate. It did not take long, since i already had made an appointment with a psychlogist in the end of the month. Both the couselor and i decided that that should be more than enough to watch over my sanity.

The councelour did invite me to join a supportgroup of fellow widowers (that is the English word for male widow i hope. I don’t want to say something morbid by accident), which would start meeting next October. She did wonder if October would be too soon for me. Now, that freaked me out. What kind of guilt ridden depressions are still lying ahead of me? I really don’t mind to suddenly cry like an idiot in the supermarket when i hear a song like “Just call my name, i’ll be there”. What scares me is to get into a deep depression, not be able to sleep without taking pills or enormous amounts of alcohol. I’ve seen it first hand with my dad, that kind of misery literally kills people.

Thankfully i’m damn lucky to have friends. One of them pointed me in a direction that i would have never have taken if the circumstances were different. I could explain what, but you probably would think i lost my mind. It does not involve anything illegal, doing drugs or joining a sect, but it does involve faith. Not religion, faith.

And who is also been helping me out is Robert Llewllyn. His video blog llewtube has kept me entertained for the last two evenings. It’s fantastic if you can listen to someone talking about life on this planet like he can. And what an eyeopener it is to realize how much it helps to hear someone yapping about mundane stuff like windmills, good potatoes and trying to get through a year without buying new stuff. Thanks Robert.

PS: When i say it is mundane, i don’t mean mundane compared with pitiful me. It is however mundane compared to anyone who lead lives where food, water and proper sanitation are not something that speaks for itself. People who moan that they don’t have enough money to buy the latest iPod, are so damn lucky.  Robert knows this and pointed  that  out many, many times in his video blogs.

The difference of wealth between Bill Gates and me is nothing compared with the difference of wealth between me and 80% of the rest of the world population. I am so damn lucky to be living in one of the fifteen richest countries in the world.

Today i found out that Robert has his very own channel on Youtube. So far i only have seen his last video, but i loved it. Not in the least on what he says about why we all aren’t driving electric cars yet.

The glass that you see on these doors are really close to what i would like to see for Conny’s monument.